You've decided that the time is right to start potty training your child. They've shown all the necessary indications that they are developmentally ready for the next stage. The only thing is they don't want to. What do you do next?

You don't want to force them. But still, you feel they are ready so what can you do to help them?

Perhaps it's best to start by asking yourself these questions:

1. Is it up to me to remind him/her to go potty or is he/she reminding me? Remember, that the ultimate goal is to have the child take responsibility for the whole routine - going to the toilet, using it and then finishing the process.

2. Can he/she pull up their pants easily or do they need help? Would bigger pants help? Pants with an elastic waist? You want to make it simple for your child so make sure they wear pants that are easy to pull down and up.

3. Have I made them confused by being inconsistent with the rules?
This means you can't help sometimes and then insist at other times that they do it all themselves. This is sending out mixed signals and will ultimately frustrate everyone involved and lengthen the process unduly.

4. Do you keep changing the order in which they should do things and confusing your child? Being consistent with what is expected of them and the steps involved is important too. They should soon be able to recite exactly what they need to do when going to the toilet on their own. It doesn't mean they will always do it without prompting (why is washing hands so hard for boys??) but it's a start.

5. Do you need to offer more encouragement or perhaps rewards to reignite interest? If you favor the reward option then maybe you need to regularly change the reward on offer. For example, instead of treats, perhaps your child would enjoy filling in a chart. Most charts for potty training have spaces where your child can paste a sticker. They can then see how many times they go to the bathroom in a day. Maybe your child would be motivated by getting a larger treat for being dry all day or all week. Sometimes we stop giving rewards, especially when things are going well and you think you're well on the way to being completely trained, and the child loses their early motivation.

6. If she/he is forgetting to run to the toilet, get the child to practice. Make it fun like a fire drill and time how quickly they can drop what they are doing and get to the bathroom. Just be sure to explain that they mustn't panic or go so fast they become reckless.

It is a good idea to do some practice runs when they are not even thinking about going potty, so that they'll learn how to quickly switch from what they're doing to make it to the toilet in time. That is why you have to make it fun, have a 'race', and include the entire family and then everyone can get the rewards together.

If your child has a toiletting accident, get them cleaned up as quickly as possible and then get them to help clean up the floor. Even if it is holding the paper wipes while you do the wiping.

It is important to let your child show you where the accident occurred. Make sure you are supportive and don't critizice them. Then get them to show you how to use the potty.

When they do make it to the toilet in time, remember to congratulate them. The key is to make it fun so they are encouraged and know that they can actually do it.

Sometimes, going to the toilet when they've already had an accident on the floor may seem like a punishment to the child. If this is the case, then only do it once or twice, so you are both clear on what is expected.