One of the truly great things about having your child out of diapers is not having to wipe their bottom. Or is it? For a long time after they are potty trained they still need help to take care of the clean up. But as soon as they have mastered going to the toilet you can begin teaching them to wipe their own bottom.

This is one of those things that is far easier to just do and not push your child to learn for themselves. But they have to learn. Not only because it’s a life skill that everyone needs to have but very soon they will be taking themselves off to the toilet on their own (if they go to kindergarten or child care, the carers will expect them to be able to handle their own toileting from around 3-4 years of age). The leap from having several accidents to being able to manage going to the toilet alone is quite fast, although I admit it doesn’t feel like it at the time. To complete that process, you need to begin teaching them to handle all the steps involved and that includes how to use toilet paper, how much to use and the importance of wiping until they are clean.

One thing you will probably have to accept, at least in the beginning, is that they will use a lot, and I mean a lot, of paper. It is better to praise them for what they are doing right than get upset with them about how they are doing it. Once they have mastered the process then you can work on quantity but in the beginning go easy on censuring the way they do it.

Logistically it can seem difficult for a small child to work out the best way to wipe. You may need to encourage them to experiment a bit to find a style that works for them, for example through the legs versus around the side.

Don’t worry if you’re not there to supervise them all the time once they have practiced a bit in front of you. If they resist wiping or haven’t wiped thoroughly, you’ll soon know because apart from the smell they will soon begin complaining of an itchy bottom. This is a perfect time to point out the importance of wiping until the toilet paper is clean. There is nothing like experiencing the uncomfortable consequences of not wiping to reinforce why they need to get it right.

You could start your child off on flushable wipes as they may find that easier in the beginning. But you don’t want them to develop a preference because this isn’t always convenient when you are out or they are at kindergarten.

As adults, using the toilet is just something that we do, it doesn’t require a great deal of thought. But when it comes to little ones, it can be overwhelming. So how do you teach your child to wipe his or her bottom?

- you can start out by peeling off sections of toilet paper and passing it to them to do the wiping

- show them how to reach their bottom – either through their legs or around the side

- explain that they will probably need to do more than one wipe

- teach them to keep wiping until the paper is clean

- explain the importance of having the paper cover their hand as they wipe

- if they can’t finish off then you can help them but at least let them try to do it themselves.

- Teach them the importance of getting dressed, cleaning up, flushing, and washing hands. Once you’ve been over this routine a few times don’t just tell them what to do, ask them what comes next so that they learn to associate one with the other without prompting from you because you won’t always be there reminding them.

If your child is older and you haven’t yet taught them to wipe their bottom, don’t worry or feel bad about it. As your child is older it is worth explaining to them ahead of time that they are now big enough to wipe their own bottom and that you will help them until they can do it all by themselves. Explain how they will be just like a grown up when they can do it on their own.